


immobilized strippers 🥺😍‼️

by r1tu4l



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, M/M, Other, Textfic, Texting, chatfic, group chat in honor of our goddess kirigiri, homeboy shits himself, improper use of listerine, lord hear our prayer 😟, oikawa has explosive diarrhea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:00:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r1tu4l/pseuds/r1tu4l
Summary: tortellini: it sounded like someone was bringing out the glockstortellini: a mfer literally dove under his desk and curled up into a ball bc he thought my literal shart was a gunshot its mot even funnytortellini: after class i went in the bathroom and cried 💔shitty poopy: bitch i’m cryinf now to
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	immobilized strippers 🥺😍‼️

**Author's Note:**

> username list
> 
> —
> 
> tortellini - oikawa  
> shitty poopy- hinata  
> wapslayer - sugawara  
> susan - yachi  
> fairy - bokuto  
> shsl bussy - kuroo  
> brocken - kageyama  
> runa kinnie - kozume  
> dandruff - daichi
> 
> —
> 
> CW: d//ng//nr//npa mentions

** kirigiri stans  **

tortellini: let me

tortellini: let me tell you about my day

shitty poopy: i dont care oikawa 😫😫😫

tortellini: stfu hoe 

tortellini: anyways i literally almost shit my pants in history today bye im so embarrassed

wapslayer: HUH???{£]¥{¥]£]¥]¥

tortellini: like i thought my ass was gonna rip in half from the fucking force of my fart. 

susan: no bc i fucking hate you bye WOAJXKSJ

tortellini: like the whole class fucking heard

tortellini: it sounded like someone was bringing out the glocks

tortellini: a mfer literally dove under his desk and curled up into a ball bc he thought my literal shart was a gunshot its mot even funny

tortellini: after class i went in the bathroom and cried 💔

shitty poopy: bitch i’m cryinf now to 

susan: bbg,,,, shawtybae,,,, loml /p

susan: what the fuck  💔💔😟

tortellini: ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY BRO 

wapslayer: oikawa has skid marks confirmed 

tortellini: HELP I HATE YOY 

tortellini: im gonna cry again now 

shitty poopy: PLS

fairy: WTFWIDJSKJD

fairy: no bc every tjme j come on here i become moree traumatized sobs and shits all ovrrr

fairy: like oikawa did

tortellini: fucking bitch this is why your dad doesng love you

fairy: DAMN ouch tf hoe  💔💔

wapslayer: ignoring toru’s fucking explosive diarrhea, i’m ready for my hot girl summer

shsl bussy: no your ugly 

wapslayer: i wasnt asking you  😍

shsl bussy:  👹

shitty poopy: PLEASEOAJCKC

tortellini: suga thinking he’d have a hot girl summer is funny as shit 

waps slayer : cries <\3

susan: ik shitty diaper isnt talking...

brocken: suga you are the reason i stay awake at night sobbing, your horrid face flashes in my mind....shivers

wap slayer: WOW

tortellini: birds die mid air when they see you in traffic

wap slayer: dont wven try it oikawa i will make your twink ass cry good mf day

shsl bussy: cry little bunny cry

brocken:...

brocken: .......

brocken: mother fucker

brocken: was that a zootopia quote

shsl bussy: yeah  😫

brocken: bitch i will eat you alive

fairy: vore  🥺🥺🥺👉👈

runa kinnie: that was simultaneously the straightest and gayest thing suga has ever said.

shitty poopy: new topic that made my skin crawl  👹👹👹

susan: yall ever not be diagnosed with shit but something still be going on up in ghis bitch

tortellini: yes

wapslayer: yes?

shitty poopy: nope 

brocken: is hinata coming out as mentally stable  🥺🥺💞 we support you king  😍😍

shitty poopy: NO PLEASDJ

shitty poopy: im just diagnosed  😫😫

shsl bussy: - with short ass gremlin ass dumb ass hoe energy, get well soon king, keep your head up, we’re praying for you  🥺🥺✝️✝️💞

shitty poopy: my trauma is not your joke  😡

dandruff: okay so

dandruff: i literally almost died today

tortellini: me to  💔

dandruff: cry about it  👹👹👹

dandruff: anyways 

tortellini: WOW you guys are fuckubv baters  🙄🙄💔

wapslayer: baters

susan: fuckubv

tortellini: RAAAAAAAAAAA

dandruff: i almost chugged a bottle of listerine 

wapslayer:  😟

shitty poopy: bro,,, 

fairy: IM ??’JSHCJSHX[3[37_[2^2[¥\\[£[£

shsl bussy: how do you almost chug listerine  😟😟

dandruff: okay so you see i was tired as FUCK bc i stayed up until like 

dandruff: 4 bc i was studying and watching frozen 2 

susan: elsa is a mf hottie and a bad bitch id wife her up real quick

tortellini: stfu

susan: stabs you

dandruff: so when i woke up at 7 i was gonna pass tf bc i was sothirsty and desperatw 

dandruff: and i almost mistook the listerine for orange juice.

fairy: PLS- 

fairy: helen keller kinnie  🥺🥺💞

brocken: WHST

dandruff: <\3

shsl bussy: NO IM DONE W/ YOU GUYS  💔💔💔

susan: theres no escape once you join the kirigiri stans  👹👹

shsl: yells and drops to knees and shakes fist at sky

tortellini: i love how you all care about daichi’s sleep problem but ignore me <\3

runa kinnie: no it was just funny that you shit yourself PLS

shitty poopy: WOAJSKCJ


End file.
